Free dating tips

What did you do well

2017.11.17

“What did I do wrong?”

The above is one of the most common questions one asks themselves on dating sites.

The other one is “Why didn’t I get an answer from them?”

Fortunately, you can’t ask both about the same person.

You did wrong less often than you would think.

On the profile page, the relationship status can be “single” or “in a complicated relationship”, for example. There is no option for “I’m open and ready for the crazy and everlasting love.”

There are reasons why it’s not there.

Most people are single because their previous relationship ended. "Except those who haven’t had any", you might say. If the platonic ones qualify, most of us were already in the past relationship state in the kindergarten. This remains true when the other person didn’t know at all about your relationship.

There is no perfect moment for meeting your love. There are wrong and less wrong moments for doing it.

When you receive a positive response and the next day the person disappears, it might have happened they liked you, but they were not ready. People usually don’t do this on purpose. They are trying to be happy.

Or maybe they had an excellent date yesterday evening with someone else. It happens. I never signed in to a dating site after a lovely date to tell everyone I’ve ever had a conversation with that I had an outstanding evening with someone else. Hopefully, I didn’t sign in at all.

It was not their fault I didn’t tell them.

There is a quote: “A smart man learns from his mistakes. A wise one learns from the mistakes of others.”

This quote is not true. No one learns from no one’s mistakes.

Research proves those who learn they learn from their success. Although the target of the study was people who start a business, this is true in general.

Which means:

1. Don’t try to figure out what you did wrong. Probably you did nothing wrong

2. If you figure out you did something wrong, it still won’t help you

3. Figure out what you did well, and the next time do it even better

Success doesn’t necessarily mean getting married from Diamonds tomorrow. Even more, I know at least one person who would consider that as a big mistake.

Success might be getting a positive response. It can be getting a positive initial message for your profile because it’s great.

Success also might be that your boss never notices you sign in to Diamonds from the office, but you didn’t hear this one from me.

Great success comes from many small achievements.

Pay attention which messages generate positive responses. Remember the type of the people who send you positive responses. Consider which dates you spent in a good mood.

It might happen that positive communication won’t end in a relationship six times in a row. However, the success you’ll find in them will make your seventh conversation even better, and this will lead to a massive success of yours.

And then, you might call it the perfect moment.

I wish you this now.

Mage